In the Verge of Darkness
by aias13aura
Summary: Alfred a former Fine Arts student and an out-of-school youth goes to hang out with himself every weekend at the park before going to church. There, he met Arthur, a writer. A guy who seems to know a lot about Alfred which Alfred doesn't noticed to know in their first meeting
1. Chapter 1

Title: In the Verge of Darkness

Characters: Alfred, Arthur, Gilbert, Ivan

Rating: T

Summary: Alfred a former Fine Arts student and an out-of-school youth goes to hang out with himself every weekend at the park before going to church. There, he met Arthur, a writer. A guy who seems to know a lot about Alfred (which Alfred doesn't noticed to know in their first meeting)

The sounds of birds chirping in the morning kind of calm my nerves because of being not used for a while and all I could feel for now is numbness. Numbness with a glaze of boredom. I've been idle for what, a month or two? I feel useless. All I did these past days is to sleep, eat and draw when an idea struck me.

And because I've lazying around, my health becomes a bit serious than the last time my mom checked on me. I was traumatized after the last job I took. I took the job so I could help my mom for the budget at home while my father doesn't have a job. I had to stop studying in college for a while so I feel depressed, the job made me distracted for a while, but it gave me so many problems in my health.

I overstressed myself, so my mom and Ludwig asked me to resign before all of my hair strands on my head falls, will leave me bald just because of my stress.

So that's why I'm here at the park strolling to past time and to get some inspiration. I can't draw when I only lock myself in a room without inspiration! I need nature in my life!

Dressed in a casual attire of sleeveless jacket, stripped shirt as an inner garment, baggy pants as lower garment and brown boots. I walked through the line of acacia trees, its leaves slowly falling from its branches to the ground. The scent of dried leaves is like a tea. Funny, I haven't even tried to drink any tea yet. I could hear my every step I take on the dried leaves.

Walking around, I noticed that time part of the park is kind of isolated since I couldn't see other people around. Bah! Whatever! More silence for me and I could take over this part of the park by myself for a while.

A groan passed my ear.

So I guess I'm not the alone here.

To my left side, I could see crumpled papers thrown everywhere near the bench made of metal. And there's a guy and it seems he is frustrated on what he is doing. I went near the guy and slowly sat myself beside him. He didn't even flinch in my awesome presence, it appears like he doesn't even noticed my existence behind him.

Realizing what he is up to, I reached for the crumpled papers around him. "Are you a writer?" I mumbled out of curiosity, the crumpled paper is full of words in it that looks like a draft of a story. The guy, who have a blond hair, an inch smaller than me, and a bit scrawny to my liking, slowly looked up to me now that he noticed my existence beside him. Emerald eyes staring at me. He nodded as an answer. I looked back at him with my sapphire eyes.

"Whoa, nice! That's awesome, dude! I really wanted to meet a writer when I was young! An awesome writer!" I beamed at him excitedly.

"I see." He mumbled. "But you see, I am getting a bit frustrated with the words that come out of my mind."

"Having a writer's block?" I asked.

He nodded, looking back to his papers.

"Same here. Artist's block though. So that's why I'm here! Nature gives me inspiration!" I grinned.

"I see." He mumbled.

"You look older than me, are you in college or already working?" I asked.

"Both." He said.

"Really? What course are you taking up? And what kind of work?" I paused."Ah, just asking." I said grinning at him. He just stared at me with an eyebrow raised.

"I don't even know you, why should I tell you?" Still staring at me, but now with an amused look in his eyes.

"Ah, sorry, like I said, I'm just curious. I'm Alfred Jones. 19 years old. Former Fine Arts student at Far Eastern University. I stopped going to college for a while since tuition fee is getting higher every year. Is that enough information for you?" I asked.

Looking more amused, he smirked. "I did not even ask you to tell me those stuffs about you."

"I'm just being friendly here, ya'know!" I huffed.

"I am taking Bachelor in Secondary Education major in English at Adamson University and I work at the café near the university as my part time job."

"That's nice. When I was still at FEU, I also want to take a part time job, but my schedule doesn't allowed me to since my plates is eating up all my time."

"Wow. I do not have the slightest idea that plates could eat time. I thought it was the other way around." He said sarcastically.

"Very funny, haha!" I laughed, not getting the sarcasm.

"So what are you up to, now that you don't study for a while, seeing like you don't even have a job for now." He asked.

"Locked up in my room. Once a week, before I go to church, I strolled around the park." I answered.

"You go to church? That is new to hear. Kids this days doesn't go to church that much, not even taking a glance inside it."

"I don't go to those kind of churches. Well, I used to, when I was young. If I may say so, I don't even learn a thing about Words of God from them coz they don't teach it in their sermon! Or maybe I'm not paying attention? Ugh, they are boring…they do stuffs again and again…like every mass is just the same." I pout.

He frowned."I don't think so…"

I huffed, annoyed at the remembrance of the last time I went to that kind of church. Mind you, in an hour of sitting, standing and kneeling, the verses they read, they didn't even elaborate it!

"Funny, you even bother to want to understand what is in the Bible? Wow, I think kids this days are not all the same."

"Of course!" I scoffed.

"Don't bash the other churches, okey? Don't get angry on them just because you don't understand what they are teaching to you when you were young." he said frowning.

"Did I? Oh, sorry I didn't mean to. I'm just saying my opinion." I pouted at him. "But thanks for reminding me, hehe." I grinned. "I still have many things to know."

"Are you that afraid of the end of the world? Most of the people became like that because they are afraid of hell."

"No, I'm not. That's what I've been waiting for. Be with Him in His Kingdom." I winked at him.

"I am amused. You are not like the other kids around. They already chose to go to hell."

"Haha, funny, dude! Very funny!" I laughed while nudging him. He just smiled at me with those sad emerald eyes. How come people can smile while their eyes show sadness?

"Oh! The service! Hey dude, I have to go now. Uhm, I'll see you around next time?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Ok! Then see ya next time, ah…"

"Arthur." He mumbled.

"Ah, Arthur." I trailed off. "See ya around next time, Arthur. Don't forget to give praise to God, confess your sins, ask forgiveness and ask for something! Bye!"

Turning my back at him, I run off to the nearest terminal of bus. The last thing I heard from him was a whisper of, "Will God forgive me?"

At the park, through the line of acacia trees, sitting in the bench made of metal underneath the shade of trees, a man in an age of 23 mumbled something.

"_**Will you ever forgive me?"**_

_**A/N:**_

I know right XD Arthur is not acting as his self as of right know. And sorry for Alfred's point of view in religion. He is not into religion but more to his relationship with God (ugh…do you guys get what I am talking about? y; o ;y )

Please excuse my grammar…I know that making this as comics is much easier for me…but I have to wait for my graphic tablet before that XO I can't wait anymore (ugh….patience…yeah right….)


	2. Chapter 2

Title: In the Verge of Darkness

Characters: Alfred, Arthur, Gilbert, Ivan

Rating: T

Summary: Alfred a former Fine Arts student and an out-of-school youth goes to hang out with himself every weekend at the park before going to church. There, he met Arthur, a writer. A guy who seems to know a lot about Alfred (which Alfred doesn't noticed to know in their first meeting)

"Hey, morning!" I greet him.

"Oh, it is you again." He said holding his cup of, what is that, tea? "Good morning, lad."

"What'cha writtin'?" I mumbled through crunching some chips. Yeah, that's my breakfast. I'm not a healthy person, I admit.

"Random ideas. I don't know what to write. I have so many ideas but I don't think those ideas will keep in my mind.

"That happens to me too! I am also fond of writing but I'm not good at it. Another problem is when an idea struck me, just a minute will pass and I will forget about it."

"Such a goldfish. That's bad."

"Yeah! Very bad, so bad that I have to always carry a notepad and a journal so I won't forget things."

"Well, I am surprised you haven't forget about me yet." He scoffed.

"Dude! I can't forget those enormous eyebrows of yours!" I exclaimed.

"Very funny." He frowned.

Oopsie. I just realized what I have just said.

"Since you're having a problem with your ideas, I want to help you. And could you help me too?" I asked.

"Err…sure, why not?" he gazed at me with his emerald eyes, but still, his eyebrows really distracts me so much, I'm glad he's not a girl or that will turn me off of girls for all eternity!

"Okey, I'll give you random ideas, it is up to you how you will sort the sequences or happenings in the story."

"It is like you are using me as a living, walking and talking note/memo pad."

"Haha! That's the point, dude!"

"Fine, let's start then?"

"Let's just say, I'm just sharing stuff with you."

"Uh-huh."

"I have this two friends of mine, the one is Gilbert, he's kinda my best friend and stuff. And the other one is Ivan, he is much taller than me. I met him before Gilbert. Before, those two were best friends in their high school. They're just both lonely, so they stick together all the time. Most of the time. People find Ivan kind of weird while Gilbert doesn't like his usual friends' company, not contented. And his friends think he's awkward too. You know, by befriending a weird person. They understand each other. Well since Ivan knows that Gilbert is an otaku, he drags him to the otaku life, as a cosplayer. Then Gilbert runs away from his other friends because they don't understand him." I took a breath, talking sure is exhausting, huh?

Gilbert felt awesome in the cosplay world. Got blinded by fans. He thought that people there are his friends. Well, some are friends. Ahaha including me! Some…they gave him stress and confused him. Especially when some guy cosplayer butt in in his life. And ivan and his boyfriend encourage that guy to pursue his feelings for Gilbert. That made Gilbert be angry of Ivan and he tried to save his friendship with the guy. But everyone thinks that he is in relationship with the guy and that made the guy be possessive of Gilbert. He got exhausted doing things all over again. He did everything to make the guy to leave his life alone.

After that he got confused if it is the guy he wants to be happy or his self. By the way that guy is his avid fan. Every time that guy say something good at him, Gilbert's level of vainness reached even to me…haha! Kidding! Since Gilbert kind of boast to himself every time he got "fans". So finally, a thought struck him, maybe he is just using that guy as a toy who will always worship him. Though he got closed to the guy, so he made a decision to drive him away so that he won't use and hurt the guy anymore. And he succeeded.

"Be glad I'm a fast writer. I took note all of what you have said." He said, stretching his arms, that earn some crackling sounds.

I pat his head. "Hehe, good boy!"

He slapped my hand. "I am not a dog." He said, giving me a ridiculous look.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Whatever the hoolahoop, dude." I laughed.

"Tell me, do you want me to write a story of life out of this?" he asked.

"I don't mind." I said

"How was your church last Sunday?" he asked. Taking a sip in his tea. Really, tea?

"Awesome. The topic's about children and parents. They talked about how we should honor our parents by obeying them joyfully, treat them respectfully and care for them diligently. We must cherish them coz in the end they are the ones who love us the most. They may not say it, sometimes, parents are like "tsundere" too. About children…hm…I like this part. It is about parents who exasperate their children. I mean don't provoke the child to hate you, because in the end they'll be the one to care for you. Haha! And oh! That part is written in the Bible, Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Just saying the verse so that you won't say I just made it up. You should take note of that so that when you got married and then have children, you'll not alone and lonely anymore!" I slightly slap his back and he sputtered his tea. Oops.

"I'm not alone and lonely!" he exclaimed.

I shrugged. "Whatever you say."

"It is hard for my part to honor my parents." He said putting his tea back to his lap. I never thought that he's the kind of person who opens up to other, especially a stranger.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"MY father is always away from us, doing his job over the Pacific. My mom, she's always freaking out whenever I'm out of her sight. And when I explain things to her, negative thoughts are the things coming to her mind. She never believes in me. My brothers are the worst, they always beat me up without reasons."

"Don't worry. I think they're not the worst family members in the world!" I encouraged.

"Easy for you to say. My two older brothers are my half-brothers. I have a twisted family." He said.

"Don't think like that, at least yours is not a broken family."

"I am better off alone."

"But you are with me, you're not alone!" he looked up to me. Emerald eyes staring straightly at me as if eading me like a book.

"I don't have a family anymore. They're gone." He said emotionless.

"W-what? What happened?" I exclaimed, aghast.

He just looked at me with those now toxic green eyes, full of something that I don't know. It scares me a bit.

"They've been killed on fire. I'm the only survivor." He said grinning at me. I felt like I'm talking to another psychotic person, not the Arthur I know.

"O-oh, I'm sorry then. S-so, how do you live now?" I asked. Argh! Why am I stuttering?

"I live in an apartment by myself."

"Alone?" I asked.

"Yes, my dear."

"So! You're not alone anymore! I, Alfred Jones, the Hero will be your new family! It is settled now! I won't take a "NO" as an answer!" I proclaimed, grasping his hands and shake it as an agreement between us. "I'll be your best friend and brother from now on!"

He blinked and laughed, oh my, I think this is my first time to hear his laugh. Funny, hearing his laugh is like listening to music box. Ugh, I'm bad at comparing things. That's the first thing that came up in my mind.

"Don't you have a family? Siblings? They might get jealous." He said wiping his small tears in the corner of his eyes formed after he laughed.

"My parents are open to my new friends, they are hospitable! They even let Gil sleeps with me in my bed every time he goes to our place to visit me. His place is so far away from us so my dad worries for him if he goes home late at night. They almost let Gil live with us ahhaha!" I can't say the things further than that, saying the fact that I let my best friend sleep with me, for your information, we're both guys. Yeah, you got the idea? Good. I'm not gonna say it! Haha! We're that awesome! But everything ends after, ah, never mind! I'm getting out of topic. "I don't have a brother anymore, he died when I was young. So you could be my new brother?" I asked him, my smile formed a crescent moon shape onto my face.

"You are a fool. You don't know what you got into." He said.

"I don't care, I have a new friend now."

"My dear Alfred, don't you have somewhere to go now? I think it is already time for your church service."

"Oh! Yeah! I almost forgot it. You sure talk like an old lady haha!"

He frowned. "I am not an old lady."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Wanna come with me?" I asked.

He shrugged and shook his head.

"Okey, maybe next time?" I asked again.

He just smiled at me. "Maybe, my friend."

I stood up and waved my hand to him to say goodbye. Okey, see ya next time!

"_**My Lord, if You are listening to me, please save my new friend from me. I do not deserve him. Please, my Lord…**_

_** … If You really do exist."**_


	3. Chapter 3

Title: In the Verge of Darkness

Characters: Alfred, Arthur, Gilbert, Ivan

Rating: T

Summary: Alfred a former Fine Arts student and an out-of-school youth goes to hang out with himself every weekend at the park before going to church. There, he met Arthur, a writer. A guy who seems to know a lot about Alfred (which Alfred doesn't noticed to know in their first meeting)

A vibration in my left pocket caught my attention. Oh isn't it me cellular phone? What is it now? I hope it is not my father.

_**You got 1 new message from Ore-Sama**_

Whoa, Gilbert texting me? I thought he doesn't have a load to text me. Whatever, this might be important.

Message:

Dude! It is cold in this island! The awesome can't believe this is happening! Like, isn't it summer? It is supposed to be hot, not rainy rainy!

- did he just forget that summer is out and rainy season is in?

Bah! Oh, I collected the stuff you want me to get for you. What are you gonna do with this stuff again? Coz I don't have an idea. Really, dried leaves and flowers? I'll be back next week. Share the word to me after your service.

-awesome me.

After reading his text message, I quickly replied him, 'Sure, dude. Btw, preserve those stuffs, I need those for my next project,' and clicked send button. I put my cellular phone back in my left pocket.

I continued my walk through the lines of acacia trees. And there, sitting on the metal bench, Arthur. He seems out of himself, well I mean, he looks like sleeping while his eyes open. Probably day dreaming.

"Hey there! What's up? Day dreaming already? You look like you just woken up." I said, poking his left cheek, just like what Gilbert did to me all the time I doze off while he was talking.

"I had a nightmare." He mumbled.

"Oh, so, you're having a day-mare just now?" I joked.

He scowled. "I haven't got any sleep after that."

"Aww… do you need coffee?" I asked.

"No." he said immediately."

"Okey." I shrugged.

We stayed silent for minutes. When I was about to break the silence, he suddenly looked up at the sky above us, which is slightly being blocked by some leaves and branches of some acacia trees.

"Humans really are fool, no?" he stated. It is more of a statement than a question.

"I think so? But you do realized that you're a human too, right?" he rested his chin over his palm and stared at me.

"They make things complicated." He continued, not minding what I have said earlier.

"Like when someone show you a simple thing you'll get confused. But when a complicated things pop up, you think you understand it." He said completely ignoring me.

"Hm, like when someone says "I Love You" and you get confused as to what they are talking about, thinking that they meant something else, probably this, probably that, maybe this, maybe that, but in reality it is just simple. Love." I just stared at him while he is talking.

"Actually, it is the greatest word of all." I said.

"All in one if I may say so. I care for you, I like you, I'll protect you, I'll stay with you, I'll be with you forever, I'll help you, I'll save you, all those things and promises in just saying 'I Love You'. That very phrase. I nodded.

"Haha, they'll even ask you in what level do you love them. The heck is that! They keep labeling things!" I said.

"They're still drinking milk, instead of eating meat." He said.

"Huh"? I mumbled confusedly.

"Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." He said.

"Ah, Hebrews 5:13,14?" he whispered something but I didn't get what he had just whispered.

"I wonder how God could put up on us. He's really that awesome, no doubt. He has children who rebels, the one who causes him to hurt so much. His other children ask sometimes if Jesus' sacrifice deserved those people. Do they deserved Jesus?" I asked. Oh my. What am I talking about anyway? Why are we talking about this anyway? But I know everyone deserves Jesus. "But God love His children, all of us. I hope that they realized it already. I as well have many things to know and to do." Really, why are we talking about this? What's up with Arthur?

"Heart is deceitful. As well as our mind and sinful thoughts." He said. He seems so distant.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"In the beginning, there is no sorrow, sadness, guilt, envy, madness and all those negative emotions in this world. But because we disobey, we lead our path in sin which causes problem. People don't even think why God even made rules for us. Because He knows what we are capable of doing, to ourselves, to others and to God. We act on our own pleasure that leads to many things that could affect others. We thought it is natural, yes, God knows it very well. He knows us very much, and yet still loving us. But even if it is in our nature to be a sinner, we shouldn't act on to it, we have self control, why ill and choices that could affect on us and to others. And woe to the people who denies and say that they are not sinners. Hypocrites!" he shouted the last word and I jumped out of surprise. "Easy there, man. Cool up before you say those things. It is not in our place to judge. But sometimes I do that too, I didn't meant to and I don't notice it until I realized what I did." I sighed. Ugh, really, why this topic? It is early in the morning for me to hear such things. But I'm glad he is open to me to say these things. But I'm not saying that I don't like this topic, just a bit curious. What happened to this guy anyway? He seems so off today. Is he dreaming while his eyes open? I doubted he is awake.

I snapped my fingers in front of him and he jumped. Doing so, I think he is awake now.

"Oh! Hey there, good morning." He said, looking confused as how and when did I get beside him.

"Really, dude. Are you okey?" I asked.

"I am alright." He scowled.

"I don't think so. You seem off. You are sleep talking while you asleep (or should I say awake)! You are freaking me out of the topic too!" I frowned worriedly.

He scoffed. " I do not know what you are talking about."

"Did you even have a sleep last night? the bags under your eyes are as dark a charcoal."

He massages his temple, his eyebrows furrowing.

I frowned. "Will you be okey? I have to go to church now."

He stared at me and smirked. "Heh! I am alright! You worry-wart! You should go now." He made a shooing sound. He slumped himself on the bench and started to doze off.

I give him a disbelieving look.

"Ugh! Really, sleeping in the park? That's dangerous!" I nudged him until he stirred and wake up.

"Argh…go away…I want to have a sleep."

"I'm okey with that, but not here! Why are you here anyway? You're not feeling well!"

"It's nice in here…" he mumbled.

"You should go home now." I suggested.

"I don't want to. I'm lonely there." He said grinning. I raised an eyebrow, now that I noticed, I could smell alcohol. Oh shoot! I am talking to a drunken person? Geez…coming here even though he's drunk and not feeling well. It is not like I'll be worried if he hadn't showed up for just one Sunday. Ah, I think I will, since I don't have his number, I'll be worried.

"Look, I'll walk you home, and won't leave you until you sober." I said.

"How about your service?" he asked.

"I'll just attend the last service and text my fellowship group. God will be displeased if I just leave you here." I said.

"Alright…" he slumped himself to my side, dozing off."Hey hey, don't sleep yet. You have to show me the way to your apartment."

"Don't leave me…Al. I don't want to be alone again." He murmured.

I just smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: In the Verge of Darkness

Characters: Alfred, Arthur, Gilbert, Ivan

Rating: T

Summary: Alfred a former Fine Arts student and an out-of-school youth goes to hang out with himself every weekend at the park before going to church. There, he met Arthur, a writer. A guy who seems to know a lot about Alfred (which Alfred doesn't noticed to know in their first meeting)

Tik tok

Tik tok

Tik tok

My eyes are twitching already, four hours had passed and yet, Arthur is still not sober up. Also, I'm hungry already! I haven't eaten my breakfast yet! I barged into his kitchen, but most of his stocked foods are inedible. There are some dried foods and…what was that? Oh, marmite! It reminds me the time when Gilbert challenged me to empty the bottle of marmite by using it as a spread in my toasted bread, the result was, I lost my ability to smell things and almost lost my taste. And its name sounded like some kind of bomb or a canon or anything that has to do with biological weapons. And there's this thing on his kitchen table that looks like a charcoal but most of it are powdered chalk…and I am sure it was a soup. Before.

Arthur blinked his eyes he looked like he was confused, he groaned as he slowly sat up. I reached to him and massage his head like I what do to my father when he got sober up too and having a hangover. He flinched in my sudden movement and I smiled. I took the coffee that I made and gave it to him. He grimaced at the smell of it.

"Coffee?" he asked. I nodded.

"Tea would be better for me." He said.

"You're out of tea so I bought a coffee. I don't know where to buy your tea, and my budget can't afford that stuff unless it is powdered iced coffee. But I know you won't drink it."

"Never mind, thank you anyway."

I grinned, satisfied.

"I don't usually do this to other people." I said.

"Huh?"

"I don't help people that much, unless if their face shows like their asking for help."

He just stared at me with bored look in his face.

"The last thing I tried to help someone, they got insulted, saying that they don't need my help and that I'll just make things worse for them. So I gave up on them. I know I should not to, I should also know how to approach other people. I have this tendency to act without thinking, doing things that could hurt or insult other people, though I didn't mean to. Maybe if I'm not like this, I don't mind people to be like that, but my actions mirrored my Lord. Because every time I do something, it will reflect to Him. And if I did something disgraceful, I'm sad. And yet, he always forgive." Just like a father to his son, I thought. I looked up to him.

He smiled at me sadly.

"So of all the human beings in earth, why are you helping me? Though, I do not need it." Arthur asked.

"I don't know, something like a connection." I answered. And Arthur reminds me of Gilbert.

"We barely knew each other."

"Maybe, I just missed my life having a brother. So that's why I asked you. And why you? I don't know."

"What happened to your brother, if I may ask?"

I fumbled my cup of creamy-latte coffee and smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, he died when he was a baby. I didn't get a chance to meet him in my whole life."

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't be. At least he's an angel now. I think he's my guardian angel."

Arthur chuckled. "How childish of you."

"Aww, don't be like that. I know you have one too." I beamed at him.

He nodded.

"Feeling better now?" I asked.

"Yes, thank you for your help. I'm sorry you have to see that side of mine." He said. And I could see that he is embarrassed of what happened, well, who won't?

"So, I have to go now."

"Alright. Be safe on your way."

"Also, I typed my number on your cell phone, sorry for doing that, but now we're friends, just text me if you need help."

"Yes, yes, I will."

"Don't do that again."

"Do what?"

"Getting drunk, and then still going to a public place. It's dangerous you know. For both you and other people, you'll freak them out!" I laughed.

"Yes, yes. I will…maybe." He smirked.

"Whatever. See ya next time."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

A week had passed. Students are laughing on their way to the schools they are attending, excited for the new school year. Most of them are excited to meet and greet their old and new friends. Oh, how I miss going to school. But nah, college is much more different than elementary and high school. It is the level of learning which makes you ready to fight the not-so-nice world. Adults would say, real world is not the place for playing. For me, it is not playing. Having fun while struggling to get your needs is much more appealing for me. I don't care what kind of job I will get in the future, as long as I enjoy what I'm doing, I don't mind at all. Success in world, I don't need it. I'm content of the things that God gave to me. I don't want to be greedy. I don't want to follow how the world works. This is not my world.

_**Buzz buzz buzz**_

_**You got 1 new message from Ore-Sama**_

Message :

- What time are we going to meet?

Reply :

- After your last class.

(Sent)

It's been two months since I haven't seen my best friend Gilbert. In those two months, our past kept haunting me. I can't sleep at night.

I also stop reading some stuff that would remind me our past, but it still keeps going on and on. I'm getting tired of it. I think I'm going insane. When I text Gilbert about something, he will reply me If I'm being a suicidal crackpot. And now is not the right time to be like that. I don't want to waste the gift of life that God gave me. He's giving me a future, why should I waste it? Though, I don't know that future, I have to trust Him.

_**Buzz buzz buzz**_

_**You got 1 new message from Artie**_

Message :

- Let's not meet anymore.

Eh? What was that for? Why so suddenly? I – I No way! I don't want another friendship of mine going to be like this.

Reply :

- Dude! Why so sudden? What have I done?

AR : You have done nothing bad to me. But, I'm afraid I might be the one who will cause something bad to you.

AL : Don't be like that, you won't do anything to me. I trust you. There must be a reason behind this. Why?

AR : Please. For your own good.

AL : No way~!

AR : I'm a SINNER! I'm a bad influence to you.

AL : Dude, we're all sinners.

AR : *sigh* stubborn

AL : Your still my best friend ;D

AR : Whatever.

AL : Love u too~

AR : The heck-! What was that for?

AL : We're best friends, so it is normal to love each other XD

AR : Yes, yes. Whatever you say.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

That kid, he doesn't know what he's doing. I blushed at the text that Alfred sent me. No one has ever said such words to me. But I'm glad, God gave me a chance to have such a friend like that. But my problem is, he's too open that sometimes, I misunderstand him. I'm afraid, I might love him in an appropriate way. Oh no no no no, no way. I slumped myself on the bed, slowly, my conscious drifting away from reality. Too bad, I fall in love to a Christian. I have no chance for that. But Alfred is not a stranger to me. He doesn't know it, but I managed to remember him. He's the kid of that bastard man.

That bastard…my father. My biological father.


	5. Chapter 5

SLAP

In front of me, Gilbert is fuming like a girl with a PMS. Okey, never mind that I said such stuff about him. But really, you just don't have to slap people in the face and then will say "There's a mosquito on your face." And then go berserk like I did something idiotic again. Hey, I'm not the only idiot here.

"What?! Dude, why do you have to do that?!" Gilbert exclaimed.

"I really don't have to do that actually." I said.

"He will misunderstand things that you do to him!"

"Or say to him…yeah, yeah. I know." I huffed.

"Is he…a homo?" he paused.

"Not that I'm discriminating him or whatever, I'm just asking." He asked.

"I don't know. He seems straight. I don't mind though. I don't think he will fall to me. That's not what I want." Why you even ask anyway?

"Then, what do you want? What made you to reach up to him? Is he that hopeless for you?"

"I don't want him to fall into the pit of hell."

"I know, we don't want that to happen to our friends and family too."

I looked up to him. He seemed to think about of what he is about to blurt out again. He's just worried of me. I know that very well, but there's this side of me which thinks that he is jealous because I found someone…someone to use as an escape from him. Again. I chuckled at the thought of it. What am I thinking? I'm not supposed to think about this. Gilbert won't think like that. When did I become so impure? Oh, yeah. From the very first moment that I stepped out of this world.

"Just be careful of what you are doing. Check your intentions before you do stuffs like that."

"Uh-huh~"

"Are you even listening to me?" he asked, frustrated.

I nodded.

"You're not taking me seriously."

I grinned.

"Don't let things to happen again." He stared seriously.

I sighed. "Hm hm, yeah. I won't let that to happen." In my mind, I have no control of myself, I don't even know why I approached Arthur.

"I wont.." I repeated.

"I'm sorry, I'm nagging you too much. I'm just…. I'm sorry. I'm so over protective of you. This past weeks, you're not acting yourself. I'm worried."

I snickered. "I'm not suicidal. I can't let my emotions stop me from living here." I grinned.

He huffed. "Not awesome, dude."

"I don't think every guy that will pop up in my life would always turn out to be gay on me, same to you too, dude."

"Psh! The other day you told me that there's this guy told you that if you were a girl, he wants him to be your boyfriend." Gilbert snickered.

I almost vomit at what he just said. "That's past okey. And that guy is ridiculous! I'm too manly! I have a freaking muscles and abs!"

Gilbert just laughed at me. The nerve.

"Dude.." I said after a minute of silence.

"What?" Gilbert asked, confusedly.

"I watched porn yesterday." I said staring at anything but Gilbert.

He slapped my back very hard."How come you will overcome your addiction if you're still doing that?!"

"Ugh…that hurts..I'm bored, and you're not texting me so I watched it instead." I reasoned.

"Really, you…there are many things you should do. You still haven't started the comics you promised to do this last summer!"

"Oh… I almost forgot about that." I smiled barely.

"Argh! How come we become friends anyway? Coz I don't know anymore." He slumped his self beside me.

"Now, now my awesome best friend, don't be like that! We become best friend coz we are way too awesome than the others. Haha kidding!"

"Say, does the past still haunting you?" Gilbert asked.

"Yeah. I thought the porn will turn me off, it did though, but I feel guilty."

"Pornography turns on people, not turning them off! What kind of brain do you have, idiot?!" he shouted. It almost tore off my ear from my head.

"Ahahaha, easy there dude! I'm okey now, a bit."

"Tsch! Oh yeah?"

I nodded.

"Don't make the awesome me worried, ok?" he stared at me directly frowning a bit.

I grinned."Geez, you're more of a worry wart than me, eh?"

He slapped my side this time, really, it hurt to be slapped by a guy than by a girl. Sigh.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

It took me awhile to clean my room, a pile of text books in my left, while a pile of occult hard bound books in my right. I haven't opened those books since the accident with my family, those were the only things I have that reminds me of them. Was that really an accident? Or my mind playing tricks on me again? I don't even know what's real to not. My head hurts every time I think for a reason, but this world has so many theories and ideologies. Things that covers the truth, reasons that hides the only real things that will save humans. Why humans do that? They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshipped and served created things other than the Creator.

Oh my, didn't I even fall to that? I lied to myself to save face and to keep me sane. But isn't that sin holding me back here in this world keeping me dead though I'm still alive. I feel like a zombie already, minus the biting part. I didn't noticed it at first, I thought what I had just discovered is the truth, making me feel like I'm a genius. Human didn't realized it yet, but they already playing god in their own way, they always look for something that will give evidence to their reasons or prove something. Oh how foolish. We live in a world where millions of young people have been taught that everyone gets to define what is right and wrong in their own eyes. How many souls do you suppose have been deceived and damned by that pernicious doctrine? One of the many dangers of wrong doctrine is that it only increases sinful desires.

I hope I have someone to talk to. I sighed. Someone to share my problems and thoughts. Someone to correct me when I am about to do silly things, because admit it, even though I'm smart, I still tend to do some embarrassing things. And most of all, someone to stay with me and love me. Wait, love me? Ugh.

I mean care for me. I blushed at the thought.

_**RING RING RING**_

I opened my cellular phone to see a message from Alfred

'Have ya read a bible verse today?'

My gaze had caught the bible on my bedside table. I winced at the thought of grazing my fingers on the top cover of the bible. The last time I tried to open it, my left hand almost burned. That was the time after the accident. It was the only thing left on fire. I thought it was impossible, but that bible made it, not acquiring any damage from the enormous fire I have done to our house and my family.

But weird, I thought I won't understand the things written inside of it, but for some reason, even though I can't open any bible and read through it, when someone preaches or share some verses, I could understand the message, and yet, I always stumble and can't act on the message nor obey it, as a law. Seems like I lack of something important. I really needed that salvation and forgiveness but I don't know what I have to do to attain it. Oh yeah, there's this some verses that really can't go through me. Even though how much I study for it, I still can't understand it. Like, it is the verses that always being preached in church but I still don't get the meaning from it.

I lit up my cellular phone again and typed a reply, 'No, I have not read it yet.'

_**RING RING RING**_

'aww why not? : '

'I would be glad if you'll be the one to read it to me.'

'pffft! Sure dude! Are you free today?'

'Eh, I was just kidding. Anyways, yes, I am free today.'

'yosh! I'm coming at your place! I'm gonna read you some bible verses~!'

'Alright.'

I sighed. This guy can't read the atmosphere. How dense. I glanced at the bible and winced again at the idea of opening it. I thought of a fire is going to burn not just my left hand but my whole body this time.

That might frighten my little Alfred. I snickered at the thought of it. What kind of reaction could I see on those sky blue eyes this time?

Why am I so fond of this kid anyway? I know it is not appropriate at all. I imagined the time that his father and I will meet again. That old man will surely be shocked to see me again.

_**KNOCK KNOCK**_

Before I could say that he is welcome to come in, Alfred burst into my living room giving me a toothy grin of his.

"So let's start now that I am here!"

I rolled my eyes, "Sure, lad."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

AN: nyah~ it's been a while! Sorry, this one got too late. And as usual, full of grammar errors. Sheeeeeeeeeeeeezzzz….. I sure got really rusty in it since I stopped going to university. Oh how I miss it.

Recently, I've been working on my doujin so that's why this one took a while to be posted.

Ah~ how I wished I have someone to correct my grammars before I post it in here XC

OH wells, I'm also so hooked up in using tumblr (follow me if you guys want coz I'm probably gonna post the doujin I'm working on there and some fan arts) aias13aura . tumblr . com


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